If you know me, you know I love New Years Eve.
While my days of going to the club are long gone, I love the time given to retrospection, the idea of energy shifts and intention on a mass level. That's some quantum shift shit and I support it 1000%. And yeah - we need this now more than ever. If you've worked with me, you also know I love a good Thank You, Fuck You letter. Gratitude is important but so is calling out bullshit. A little birdie reminded me to do my own for the past 365 so here it goes in no real order of importance or grievance:
Fuck you 2020.
Fuck you and your wicked, perverse algorithms, government corruption and conspiracy theories
for giving birth to or lifting up people and movements who think they have a monopoly on the TRUTH be it spiritual or political
for your army digital soldiers and your gross fucking bots
for 'influencers' who have used this year to peddle disaster spirituality, politics and attacks on others
Fuck you & fuck Q.
For fuck's sake - fuck you for division on every level
Fuck you for unnecessary violence and death on Black & marginalized people and FU to those who believe that saying all lives matter is 1) ok and 2) woke on any terms or level - the end.
while I'm at it FUCK you for racism and mother fucking new nazi's,
fuck you for homophobic, transphobic, bigoted, mysoginistic fuckers who let 2020 be a megaphone for their H8
FUCK YOU for CORONAVIRUS (even though it's inception was 2019)>.. fuck coronavirus the entity with it's tentacles: death grip, fear, disinformation, mutations. FU For killing friends and family quite literally and also figuratively. A big fat fuck you for those who don't believe in your relentless wrath, call you a hoax or the flu - and for almost ending me...seriously FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
Fuck you for your lies, OMG - all of your lies and for social media propagating your lies
2020! You're such a narcissistic dick Fuck you for hypocrisy on every level
F.U. for people pawning off narcissism as remorse and lazy internet searches as natural intelligence - BARF!!!!!
Fuck you for your severe lack of empathy and black whole of emotional intelligence
Fuck you for my cancelling my wedding (2x's) For separating me from my daughter in quarantine and the fall out that came with it, for keeping loved ones from loved ones period I haven't seen my parents in over a year! And let's not forget - migrant kids in cages. FU!
Fuck you for letting people die - alone Fuck you for the mental, emotional and spiritual grip you've had on - everyone
F.U. for every friend, lover, family member and loved one you took from us unnecessarily outside the pandemic because the weight and severity of all that you brought to the table was too much bare. Fuck you for all the feelings eaten, and the feelings forgotten. Just....FUCK....YOU 2020. See you again hopefully NEVER.
And now.....THANK YOU 2020.
Thank you to the nurses, doctors, hospital workers who have dedicated themselves to the red-level emergency we are experiencing - for diligently working and sacrificing life as they know it with family and loved ones and - their lives - period. THANK YOU to every hand that touched me in my personal emergency and on my continued road to recovery.
2020, I want to extend that thank you & gratitude to also include: Postal workers, UPS, FED EX and AMAZON employees.
Thank you to everyone who works on the food supply chain - migrant workers, farmers, grocery store employees & restraunt staff (all of them).
Thank you 2020 for necessary social justice and pathways forward for the good for all. Thank you for zoom /FaceTime connections , classrooms and yoga studios to keep us together even if we found it annoying and/or uncomfortable.
Thank you for all the lessons learned in isolation, for forcing us to see ourselves, hear ourselves and feel our feelings in a way that gave us space and time to want to become and actually be better people.
Thank you for shining a light in the cracks of relationships exposing truth where necessary and for closure or to level up. Thank you for new friendships because of and in spite of you.
Thank you for people laying down their arms to make peace....
Thank you for insights, for the sacred moments, the unbridled joy in the spaces inbetween grief and chaos. Thank you for the small victories. The victories. They were real and they were felt deeply.
Thank you for bread.
Thank you for healthy skepticism and wonderment.
For newfound interests and hobbies that bring happiness.
For The Mandalorian and selfishly, for WonderWoman and Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
Thank you for hindsight. Thank you for being a springboard into the future.
Thank you for breath.
Thank you for the experience of almost taking my life and saving my life. Thank you for all the lives saved.
Thank you 2020 and good night.
ONE blessed, final note.
This is a prayer I like to use for big quantum changes & wanted to offer it here in case you need some magic to move your 2020 grievances into your New Years Magic.
(Pssst: replace *myself with anyone /everyone who needs a lifting) I Bless *myself in pure love and light. I bless myself in purified Source energy and I ask God / The Universe/ Goddess to take every negative entity and energies from 2020 now and eradicate it from my aura, from my life across all timelines, across all space and realities.
Please give to me now, the miracle I need in my heart to make me happy, healthy and whole so that I make take that healing and light and share it with anyone crosses my path without saying. Amen, Aho, And so it is.
Thank you for being you, for being here and for your beautiful, bright heart. All my love and Happy New Year.