There's so much happening in the stars & sky right now, it feels wild I don't have a plan, mantra or meditation. I mean, I'm that girl right? Trying to wrap my head around 'the great conjunction' all hopped up on meds feels very Jim Hensen's Dark Crystal! Like somewhere, a creature's trying to get a crystal shard into bigger, shiny, same-rock specimen to eliminate the evil and end the pandemic! ....right? Ugh. My energy level is zilch.
Every day I wake up, it feels like an elephant is sitting on top of me. My nose bleeds in the first five minutes. My body feels like dead weight. This morning I have a headache. Doc says I have Covid PTSD & anxiety. I'm taking melatonin to help me sleep. I'm tired of being on oxygen. I'm about to ASMR that machine on Youtube to give you some space mountain feels. For real! I will say I'm proud of how hydrated I am! Moisturizing is a new hobby (+ helps my sinuses).
Some F'N Weird + rando bat shit: "The_Official Paul Rudd" instagram account, messaged me several x's while I was in the hospital, to purchase (it, him/he/she/they) an Apple gift card - since "he & his wife were divorcing and his credit cards were 'frozen'." +Some insta biz commented on my hospital pics: collaboration? What in THE hell?
+I re-listened to my birthday astrology reading. The astrologer said "the underworld was coming for me at the end of this year." UH...W-T-A-F! +I got a $700 bill for Sophia's mandatory school vaccinations. Ruminate on it.
And while I'm eternally grateful for the love & messages I'm going to be raw right now and say some are-off the charts. I'm not an expert on Covid (feels more student -ish). I'm not an expert on the vaccine(s). I don't know if you're contagious, and no it's not a hoax (?!) Yes. Social distancing is really important. Yes I believe in masks .....even if you tell me you don't. I'm not sure on the precise moment of how & when ..but my symptoms began Friday November 20th & here I am, hooked up to the Platinum 10 Invacare SensO2 machine exactly 30 days later with other complications like cellulitis, a sinus infection, PTSD & anxiety.
PS - Sophia & Jim are A-OK. Thank you & THANK GOD.
Yes I DO know, this happened to me 'for a reason'. I'm not exactly sure what part of the ascension process to place it in just yet or 'what it all means' Indeed I'll be stronger when it's over. Thank you. Leveling up you say? Sure. Got it. But also fyi, sometimes placing "a reason' on something can be daunting or contribute to the anxiety way more - so I'm just choosing to be with it - for right now.
And sorry we're not FB friends & how upset you are -to lead your get well message with that- but honestly don't hold it against me - I'm recouping - or trying my hardest- I'm doing the very best I can..no really, the ...very ....best - to sit with all of this. ALL of it, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and ...physically.
To the conjunction ALICE!!
So, let's get cosmic and weird together shall we? There's something crazy happening Monday that hasn't happened for 800 years! And while I don't have a specific mudra/mantra/ yoga set nor am I leading a circle where we are going to 'OA' some kundalini moves into another dimension through it's portal...I did come up with a song...if you'd go bat shit and just turn it up really loud and dance with me....at least once...when the planets align.
Thanks for getting cosmic dirty and real here with me. Aiming for a weekly tarot read tomorrow -
XO - M
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