I want to run. I want to run so fast that the most obvious and fastest runner you know can't catch me. I want to feel the air whip on my face while sweating profusely.
I want to dance. I want to dance more and often. I want to go to a boxing class with my friend Tiffany in LA and not die.
I want to not die (at least for the next 25 years)
I say this because body is trashed. Yesterday I tried 2 minutes of Kundalini. It made the pain worse. FML. Can I share a quick story? Last Thursday I had a double root canal scheduled. On my way, my right leg was dragging, bad. My calf felt like a Charlie horse that wouldn't peak or subside. I'm in the car hyperventilating until I score an appointment at St. Lukes. 6 hours later, & a CT scan of my right leg; no blood clots. Deep GRATEFUL Exhale.
Cut To: my breakdown in the Rite Aid parking lot.
Why does it hurt so much though? What is wrong with my body?
I'm cloudy. I'm dizzy. For three weeks. This alien pain in my leg grabs my right calf when I walk. Sitting, it moves to my shoulders and neck, lighting them on fire.
A handful of Epsom salt baths, nights in a heated spa blanket, plenty of fluids, prescriptions, a sciatica massage and a week + later, it seems worse.
The last 2-3 months I've been quiet about blood work, swollen lymph nodes and the fact that seeing a hematologist scared the fucking shit out of me.
This actually made me realize on many levels, I've been scared since December 2019.
And I'm not the only one. A lot of us are scared. And our bodies are processing collective fear as well as the shifts in planet the one we reside on and the ones above, pandemic shifts, tech changes, info wars, socio-economic changes + more as fast as we are being hit with them. Recognizing that my body is processing collective fear as well as my own could be a huge explanation for the world of hurt I'm in right now as well as the post covid stuff - yes, of course. But I'm tired of the hurt. I want it all off me. I want to feel vital and healthy and in charge and alive. So, my prayer for the New Aries moon and you can adapt any of it as you see fit is: Dear Universe, Goddess and Source that hears me, All of these inconclusive medical tests can fuck right off.
The fear in the morphic field can also fuck right off of me - my mind body and soul, immediately. I want all things off me that don't belong - other people who've called/call me dark, I clear and transmute the deflection & ask they heal whatever salty gash I rub raw for them for the good of all, Amen.
And all things that are my responsibility negatively - my judgement of others. Lord please forgive me. Bless all of the people I think are a pain in my ass. Please allow me to remove them by the dozen so I'm free of pain in my body & I am able to move more freely about earth.
Any outstanding drama or trauma in terms of apologies never heard, never said. Let me -let you-let me, LET THEM GO. Please and thank you, Amen. The unconscious or conscious beef I have with technology. I call on harmony with Mercury, Apple & Microsoft-immediately. And so it is. Shield me from past, present and future demons, the demons of others, my own and just demons in general. I'm really fucking over them. Hard. Allow me to become lighter and move for freely about earth. May I sprint this spring with grace and ease sans vomiting.
I point the energy of the new moon in Aries and this astrological new year to a direction that is a portal of 'Hell YES" or something better. Thank you spirit. Thank you Universe. Thank you Goddess and Source. I am in awe of your graciousness and am grateful for all that is already.
With urgency, and in this new moon vortex for creative intentions, I implore you - do what you can to point the energy of the Airies New Moon in a direction that is helpful for you. Allow the grand conjunctions happening to assist in giving you the keys back to your life or to just be reborn so that you become the best version of you for you and your family and community. We have nothing left but to try from the seat of our soul with our intentions and good will to turn this ship around. Use the cosmic energy and....
Ready, set go!
And it is so. XOXO - MG Art by Mystic Mamma at MysticMamma.com